Living a life for myself is running away from what God wants me to do. God wishes for me to love and trust Him. If I am trying to live on my own fruition I am rejecting what God is telling me to do.
I thought if I would just ignored Him long enough I would be left alone to do what I wanted. Well, I was allowed to do what I wanted. Let me tell you, it got really confusing. Trying to figure out who to help and all of that on my own was very tiring and I always made the wrong choices.
Trying to be a part of this World is an impossible task and led me to sink into myself even more. I tried running away and hiding in music, sports, movies, lifestyle, and anything else that this world has to offer to appeal to my emotions. Out of all the things I did that should have killed me it was alcohol that rung my bell. God heard me one night when I was in a camper trailer with no heat at zero degrees outside. I was warm. I had a good set-up so I would not freeze. I slept with my bottle so I would not have to get out of bed to find it. I needed a drink every hour or so to keep the shakes away.
I was tired. I saw no way out of my pattern. I had no other choice. Even A.A. could only do so much. I knew I was going to die a lonely slow death. I did not want to die a drunken loser. So, I asked God for help.
God told me what to do, ask for help. I made my plans on where I was going to go to treatment and then asked for help from my drunken friends. The owner of the liquor store paid for my plane ticket and I sold a bunch of my adventure gear. I stopped running and God fixed me up real good like.
Dear Heavenly Father, I thank you for not letting us run to far. Thank you for calling us back so we may find real peace and happiness. Help us to trust you even when we do not understand. Let our lights shine so those who are looking for the solution may find you. Let our walk and talk be their signpost. I pray this in Jesus name, amen.
Thank you everyone being here. I love all you guys. WWJD for Life! 🥰
Comments